The Place: Houndstooth Coffee on Lamar.

The Cup: A pot of tea for me and Terry enjoyed a gorgeous Latte complete with a little coffee art on top. I have to admit, seeing his beautiful cup of rich, velvety goodness made me immediately regret my decision to head down the tea path. After a minimal amount of stewing, I got over my beverage envy and managed to enjoy my tea.

Background: Terry is a fellow blogger I met at BlogathonATX.  He has a really great podcast called When In Austin and he asked if I was willing to be interviewed for the show. I said “what the heck!” but then we ran out of time and decided we’d get together another day and we’d both interview each other.  So this coffee was that meeting finally happening.

In all honesty, this coffee is a little bit different than the others because by the time Terry and I finally sat down to do the interviews, we ‘d already had a lunch meeting and I’d already interviewed a stranger he suggested to me, April from Fabricker.  So it felt a little more familiar than usual.  Terry and I chatted a bit at BlogathonATX and we discovered there was reason for us to meet professionally, as well as for our blogs.  We ended up meeting for lunch with Terry’s friend and boss, Jason.  It was at this lunch meeting that I learned about a “diet” that both Terry and Jason were on.

Normally my ears close up when I hear about a “diet”.  Ugh, I don’t care what you eat. I swear, I don’t. No, let’s not talk about it. These are the things usually streaming through my head. For some reason, this time I was curious. So they told me about an older book written by  Dr. Ron Rosedale and the plan is called The Rosedale Diet.  Essentially, it is high fat, low carb.  Like Atkins, I suppose.  But you are encouraged to eat only good fats (no buttered bacon on this plan folks) and your protein is optimally fish and eggs. We could do that, is what I found my self thinking. So I asked more questions.  Turns out Terry has lost 50 pounds since July and Jason has lost 20 and he’s now on the maintenance plan.  The best thing they tell me is that you have zero food cravings.  You are reprogramming yourself to burn fat for fuel versus carbohydrates and as a result you no longer have spikes in blood sugar and have no cravings. I realize this is a tangent, but I will just tell you that we researched the heck out of this plan and it is truly the perfect solution for us. We’ve lost weight, feel great and it’s true – absolutely no cravings.

OK, back to the coffee.  I ask Terry about the most significant thing that’s happened in the last 30 days and he tells me it is reaching a weight loss milestone – 50 pounds. I am really excited for him and a bit in awe because unlike me, he’s the only one in his house doing the diet.  His wife Vickie is supportive but she’s not on the plan. At least for me I don’t have to watch Dave eating a bunch of carbs which I am positive would make it harder. I said there were no cravings, I didn’t say you lose your memory and forget how yummy ice cream is.  Hmmm…the amnesia diet, I might be on to something.

Terry’s wife got a lot of mention during our chat and frankly, I hope I get the chance to meet her because she sounds like one cool chick. Vickie is one of Terry’s sidekicks on his podcast and she is hilarious! They have this banter pre-show and its perfect. Makes you feel like they are sitting in your living room with you.  Terry and the Mrs. met in 2003 via an internet dating site.  Today, that is as common as “we met in a bar” but according to Terry, in 2003 this was novel.  Which might explain why his initial exchange with his new interest included the question, “You aren’t crazy, are you?”  This question almost made him lose his chance at meeting Mrs. Right. Luckily for Terry his ratio of “interesting” to “idiot” tipped in his favor and they had a date.  And then another.  And although they’ve been married for five years now, they are still having dates and are happy as ever.

Terry describes his wife in a way that every wife hopes her husband describes her. He tells me she is beautiful and then he goes on to describe his love for her – which he calls “mature love” and tells me that he never realized it was possible to be so full of desire for one person even after nine years. He gets a little embarrassed talking about it and admits he’d say it differently if I were a guy (which leaves me a little curious what that might have sounded like) but once he finishes his giddy description, I am totally aware that he loves this woman more than anything and finds a true completeness in her that many people are never lucky enough to experience.

When Terry was in his early 20’s he was a bit of a different guy.  He went to seminary, became an ordained pastor and married his college sweetheart.  He was also quite occupied with managing and living up to other people’s expectations even if they were often self-imposed. He went to seminary to impress his family, he got married because he thought that was what you were supposed to do and he was unhappy.

When I ask him about life lessons he’s learned along the way he tells me he wishes he’d have done things for his own happiness sooner, rather than caring so much about what he thought others expected from him.  The good news is that he realized it at all.  I remind him that this lesson is one that some people never get.

Terry got divorced and decided not only that ministry wasn’t for him, but that maybe God wasn’t for him either. This subject is a tough one. I can tell he’s struggling to find the words and weighing that old “I don’t want to say something that might offend you and how uncomfortable is what I’m about to say going to make the next 30 minutes? ” mantra that lives on in all of us, no matter how self-actualized we think we are. Terry won the battle with his inner silencer and tells me something he admits he doesn’t talk much about.  He says, “I don’t believe in God.” I’ve heard my share of surprising statements and I think I’ve gotten better at handling the curve balls I get thrown at me sometimes.  While not a jaw-dropper, this one did leave me scratching my head.  From seminary to atheism. I doubt it’s rare, but suspect its uncommon.

Why the leap?  Yeah, I was curious too.  It’s complicated, really.  And we didn’t get into all the pieces of it.  After years of research and study, Terry determined that religion was something designed to control people much like our legal and political systems do today. People need order and religion provides that. Need some rules, check your Bible for the “how to be a decent human being” list and you’re on your way.  Terry doesn’t buy that any more and is at peace with the choice. In fact he tells me he is much more at peace with the idea that after he’s lived something like 80 years on this planet, when he dies, he ceases to exist. It’s better than how he’d feel knowing that his behavior in those 80 years on earth would determine how he’d spend eternity. It’s an interesting point.

Speaking of death, I asked Terry about his bucket list.  Turns out he doesn’t have one, exactly.  But he does have projects that he gets interested in and then sets out to accomplish. For example, he wanted to learn how to brew beer.  So he bought all the stuff and brewed his own beer.  He enjoys it but now he’s on to another pursuit.  Fishing.  Terry describes his romantic notion of retirement as living somewhere near the water and taking a little boat out each day and catching his own fish.  A “living off the land” sort of fantasy?  “Well, I’m not going to start collecting my rain water or anything,”  he quips. Well, probably not, anyhow.  In the meantime, he has plans to buy a fishing rod, head to a park and practice casting. Eventually he’ll check out some state parks and give it a whirl.  Terry the fisherman, I can see totally picture it.

What’s the key to success?  I’m always fascinated by people’s answer to this.  For Terry it about activity.  When Terry was a kid he listened to a song and the lyrics were, “The bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see.  To see what he could see, to see what he could see. The other side of the mountain is all the he could see.”  At first listen, it’s a bit of a bummer.  But as Terry points out, its a good analogy for life. You gotta just keep on going. There will always be more mountains, there is no end of the road. You have to stay hungry and keep moving.

Terry plans and tracks his activity. And he’s a list guy. But he has a very specific drill with his lists and it’s similar to the Getting Things Done approach.  Terry has a list he calls “Input Box” which is just a dump of every idea or activity that comes along.  Next is the “On Deck” list.  Things he deems important get moved from Input to this list.  From here, two to three at a time, they move to a list called “Today”.  Every morning that list should be empty. His morning ritual goes like this.  He pours a cup of coffee, looks over his lists and sifts out 2-3 things he needs to get done that day in order to be successful.  Pretty simple.  But as he points out, so many people just get going with no plan or real direction. I know he’s right. I’m guilty of that “just get started” stuff and know I could benefit from this type of a system.

And you’d need lists if you were as busy as Terry. In addition to the day job I mentioned at the start, and the diet (which Terry admits is sometimes like another job) plus being an outstanding husband (safe to assume, right?) he also has a very cool podcast I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this post.  It called When In Austin and Terry describes it perfectly when he says, “It’s discovery through storytelling.”  He says he’s interested in people’s stories and grew up loving NPR.  What he had in mind when he started When In Austin was an “All Things Considered for Austin” sort of thing.  I tell him that’s exactly what is sounds like to me. A little news at the start, some conversation and nuggets to chew on followed by a couple of fascinating human interest pieces. I encourage you to check it out.  If not now, then certainly next week when yours truly will be featured.

We wrapped up with a little chat about happiness.  Earlier I had asked Terry what he’d do for a living if happiness were the national currency. Without hesitation he told me he’d do his podcast.  I can relate.  What Terry and I share is a love of people and an intense curiosity about their paths, their heartbreaks, their successes, their joy, their struggles.  Their stories.  For me it’s about sitting with them while they open up in a coffee shop and share their tale with a total stranger.  Then re- listening to their words and writing the story.  For Terry, his storytelling is more pure; raw if you will.  There is some editing that goes on, but for the most part it is just a person in front of a microphone telling their story through the questions Terry poses.

The question Terry tells me is the one he has the hardest time answering is “What makes you happy?”  He says, “People will tell you their kids make them happy or whatever.  Bullshit. They have no idea what makes them happy. I know I am extremely happy right now but if I had to tell you why, I wouldn’t know what to say.”

Terry is a guy with a job he enjoys, an extraordinary marriage to a woman who excites him today as much as ever, a dream podcast he has turned into reality that his wife works with him on, a varied list of interests and hobbies, a plan for success and a plan for his future. I don’t know what makes Terry happy either, but I have a few ideas.

To learn more about Terry, check out the podcast or perhaps you’d like to follow him on Twitter. Heck, go crazy and do both!