The Place: Lola Savannah
The Cup: Hot tea for Monique. I opted for a new drink, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I ordered a Con Panna, which Monique kindly explained translates to “with cream”. Yum! My newest love is the cortado (half espresso and half cream), so I thought this was just another way of saying that. Nope. The cream in the case of the Con Panna is the whipped variety. So yummy, but no cortado.
Background: Honoree Corder, Cup 19 made this particular introduction. She and Monique had recently connected and became fast friends. Honoree suspected the same would happen with Monique and I. While I can’t speak for Monique, I can say that I’d take her as a friend any day! And so would anyone else. She’s a total sweetheart – full of passion, adventure and authenticity. And here’s her story.
Monique’s childhood was spent straddling two countries – spending half the year in Texas and the other half in Mexico. I was surprised to learn that Spanish was her first language. She began acting professionally before she even graduated from high school, but her parents insisted she earn a degree before going to drama school. Which she did.
From there, she enjoyed success as an actress – mostly doing theater, which was her passion, but also doing some TV because it paid better. Her theater career moved behind the curtain and she found a different level of success and excitement back there. Eventually though, she came to a crossroads and had a big decision to make. She tells me she went to Galveston alone for a weekend and just wrote and wrote. She wrote about what she wanted to do with her life, where she wanted to be and like a light bulb going off, it hit her. London! She wanted to live in London and work in a theater. This will give you a glimpse into who Monique is – she made this decision on a Saturday and one month later her bags were packed and she was headed to London. But not before getting the item that will answer the question, “What’s something that people would be surprised to learn about you?”
I actually giggle a little as I play back our conversation in preparation for writing this because I pick up on something I didn’t notice the first time. I asked her the question and she didn’t immediately have an answer for me. “For the most part I think I’m an open book.” she says. We decide to move on and she’ll let me know if she thinks of something. The next question is answered and then she asks me to repeat the question she’s supposed to be thinking about. I get the sense that Monique is the kind of person who doesn’t like unfinished business. She was probably the kid who got her homework done as soon as she got home from school so she could enjoy the rest of her evening without it looming over her. I can relate. Don’t get me wrong, I can procrastinate with the best of them. But my preference, in the immortal words of Brian Tracy, is to “eat the frog”. Just go ahead and get it over with.
She considers the question again and I offer, “Look, it doesn’t have to be anything really big. Maybe it’s just that you only wear yellow pajamas and you wear them every night.” trying to put her mind at ease that I’m not looking for some true confession sort of thing. All I accomplished with the statement, for a reason unclear to me, was exciting the gentleman pouring cream into his coffee and (apparently) eavesdropping on our conversation. He was so moved by the statement that he decided to provide some uninvited commentary. “I won’t comment on that.” Oh really, sounds to me like you just did. I, polite Midwestern girl that I am, smiled and offered a little giggle. We carry on talking and Mr. Yellow Jammies Fetish adds, “Tempting though.” Crap, my chuckle must have encouraged him. I should have mirrored Monique who completely ignored the guy. Smart girl! I decide to start now which has the desired affect and he ambles off to presumably listen in on someone else’s conversation.
“I’ve got something.” What? Oh, my question, right. Monique has figured out the surprising detail about herself that she’s now ready to share. This is that part that makes me laugh a little upon re-listening. Her voice softens and I have to almost lean in to hear what she’s telling me, and she says, “I have a small tattoo.” Holy crap! No way, sister! You and 45 million other people (that’s an actual fact – I Googled it), myself included. Joking aside, this was kind of a big deal for Monique and an even bigger deal for her mom who was not at all pleased when she discovered said tattoo on her 20 something year old daughter. Here is where things get interesting and I hear the strangest and best tattoo story I have ever heard.
“Went to Vegas, got drunk, got a tattoo.” Heard that.
“Married Tommie Lee, lost my mind (not necessarily in that order), got matching tattoos.” Heard Pam Anderson did that.
“Took a road trip with a friend after high school graduation, was too young to get drunk, got a tattoo.” I did that.
“Finished horseback ride on the beach, on the drive home noticed a tattoo shop, walked in to Chuck’s Custom Tattoos stone cold sober at 9 am on a Monday, got a tattoo.” Only been done by the heroine of this tale, Monique!
Was I right? Craziest tattoo story! I should mention that Chuck was not in, so her art was inked by California Jimmy and had Monique not already decided she was headed to London, she could have gotten a lifetime of free tattoos because after their hour together, Jimmy was a smitten man. And he let Monique know this with a personal note on the back of his business card. And to show his sincerity and seriousness, he drew a few stars back there as well. Well done, Jimmy. Better luck next time.
WHAT WAS THE TATTOO MELISSA??? I hear you demanding answers.
What Monique was looking for at that moment was balance. And the symbol that spoke to her was the yin yang symbol. It’s obviously not a story she shares with everyone, but it’s a choice she doesn’t regret. Sensible as she is, she made a wise placement choice. Can be easily covered and wasn’t distorted during her pregnancy. Speaking of her son, there is one other funny detail about this tattoo. When her son, who is now eight, was little, he’d push on the tattoo and she’d chime like a doorbell. That’s adorable.
Monique’s life has really been one adventure after another, and that’s just the way she likes it. She made that move to London, not knowing a single person there. She took a job washing dishes so she’d have time during the day to visit theaters and attend matinees. She scouted out the spot she wanted to plant professional roots. Once she found it, she walked in, resume in hand, and and let the theater director know that she’d considered her options and had selected his theater as where she’d like to work. As confident and bold as that move was, she was surprised when he told her he had someone leaving and needed to fill the spot and how soon could she start? Tomorrow!
After six terrific years in London, living the dream, she was ready for something different. This is the point where she ends up back in Texas. Her parents were aging and there was talk of a film industry beginning in Austin, so she headed home. As she tells me about the jobs and roles she has taken on over the years, I am dazzled by the variety and complexity in her journey. Today she runs a nearly year-old business as a communications coach – helping professionals be better communicators and assisting teams to work together more effectively. To get here, she’s worn many hats, and she says that it’s one of the things that makes her so great at what she does. She’s able to take her training and her experience and use the sum of it to help her clients become rock star communicators. I can see how everything has come together for her and to me it makes perfect sense. When I share this observation she tells me, “It doesn’t makes sense on paper. It’s in the telling of the story that is all makes sense.” To which she adds, “I tell my clients, you can present all the information but if the story doesn’t make sense to the audience, it doesn’t matter.”
That strikes me as quite a profound truth. In this journey of meeting strangers over coffee, I have learned more lessons than I can count. Lessons about relationships, success, friendship, career, life, failure, on and on. None of the lessons are new. Nothing so earth shattering that I’ve never heard it before. But as Monique so eloquently described, it’s in the telling of the stories, in my case, that the lessons acquire meaning. After 21 cups, this is the first I’ve ever made this connection and I’m grateful to her for this insight.
When asked about an event that has shaped her life the most, she cites her work as an actress. Not only because it was exhilarating and she had the time of her life, but also because of a valuable skill it instilled in her – the ability to deal with rejection. And “deal with” isn’t even the right way of saying it. More like it taught her to expect it. As an actor, rejection is just part of the game. You don’t get everything you try out for, but then you move along and move along until you get something. Monique thinks that her love of change and tolerance for risk originated here. She says, “How boring would life be if you only did the things you felt were easy or safe? And, how much do you learn from the things that don’t work out like you expected?” In respect to auditions she adds, “Not getting it is not a failure.” Well, when you frame it like that, sure. I see the truth.
If happiness were the national currency, Monique would make her living doing exactly what she’s doing. She loves her clients and the work she does with them. She tells me that in theater, the part she loved the most was the rehearsal process. In essence, that’s what she gets to do with clients every day- rehearse.
I’m curious how Monique would describe herself if she had to do so in one word. She considers the question and then her lips turn into a warm, soft smile and she says, “Complicated. In a good way and a bad way. I’m multifaceted with many diverging layers. Which I like about myself.” She tells me that has a wide variety of interests – from the music she loves to the books she enjoys to the people in her life. And she believes the variety is the result of an intense curiosity she’d had her whole life. “Yeah, complicated is the word. It isn’t always easy, but it is always interesting.” After listening to her amazing tale, I have no doubt about that.
To learn more about the interestingly complicated and fabulous Monique, visit her website or check her out on LinkedIn.