The Place: Starbucks

The Cup: Ken enjoyed an iced green tea, while I opted for an iced coffee.

The Background: This one is a little wonky – with a whole lot of randomness thrown in. I’ll do my best to summarize.

In 2009, while living in Houston, I started a marketing and sales consulting business called RedBird Business Results. Not my first venture into entrepreneurship – assuming selling Thin Mints to the ladies my mom worked with, and talking our neighbors into buying crafts made out of toilet paper tubes, pipe cleaners and glitter counts as experience. Let’s call it my first legitimate experience as a business woman.

I was polishing up my LinkedIn profile and was prompted to use a feature to search for people in my area who had attended my college. “Okay LinkedIn”, I challenged the website, “let’s see what you’ve got. Who on earth went to the University of North Dakota and is living near me?”

No one.

Okay, almost no one. Just a few hours away, in Austin, TX there was a dude named Ken Kuznia and he had a business called DigYourWork. The mission of the organization was to help people tap into their passions and to stop dreading Mondays. I loved it! Having just made a leap toward following my passion, I knew the work he was doing was needed and valuable. So I sent a little note introducing myself and suggested we connect on LinkedIn.

Ken accepted my request and sent a very encouraging note back. The end. Well, not quite.

Fast forward to a few months ago.

Maybe it’s just me, but Facebook makes the most random friend suggestions sometimes. It’s rarely anyone I know or have heard of. But one day I saw a name that seemed oddly familiar. I clicked on the profile and saw we had a few friends in common and then I saw it – University of North Dakota. The connection came back to me and I decided to send him a friend request. He accepted.

To be honest, the North Dakota connection would have been reason enough for me to ask Ken to grab coffee. But the real reason I did it, was because of what happened to my Facebook feed the moment Ken accepted my request.

Pictures of Austin sunrises. Videos of people doing loving things for others, or of inspiring TED Talks. Lyrical musings like this one:

Have always loved these two lines from this 1988 INXS classic…

… ‘Cause we all have wings
But some of us don’t know why …

My favorite type of post — reflections and quotes from an author I may or may not have ever heard of, like this one:

Great mid-week reflection…

How Great You Have It – Ralph Marston

Remind yourself today how great you have it. Count your blessings, and take a few moments to dwell on their value.

Of course you have problems, challenges, limitations and all that. You also have opportunities, possibilities, resources, relationships, and life itself.

Shift your focus away from getting what you want, and point it toward appreciating what you have. Though you certainly don’t want to become complacent, allow yourself to enjoy a bit of satisfaction and gratitude.

Appreciate the goodness that surrounds you. Consider what good and valuable use you can now make of it.

Remind yourself how great you have it. Then see all the ways to act on your good fortune.

Even in the most difficult of times, it pays to remind yourself how great you have it. From just a little bit of goodness, when you truly appreciate it, you can build a whole lot more.

In the midst of Donald Trump-bashing or -loving (I have a diverse group of friends), pictures of burgers people were about to eat, gun control tirades, notes from people on vacation with that now iconic picture of their feet with beach and ocean in the background, I had this pocket of sheer positivity that I found myself looking forward to. Always something that made me feel good, or challenged, or made me think, or be still.

This coffee happened because I just had to know the guy behind my Facebook feed revitalization.

Again I sent a request. And again, Ken accepted.

Before we get into Ken’s story and find out if he’s even half as awesome in real life as he is on Facebook (spoiler alert — his awesomeness is off the charts), let’s cover a few:

Common Grounds:

1. What’s your guilty pleasure? Watching Modern Family.
2. How did you make your first buck? Working on the family farm.
3. What is the best place to eat in Austin? Sway. Everything is amazing there.
4. What is the best way to unwind? Going to the movies. Something action-packed. Think Armageddon, Twister, Batman, Mission Impossible. And buttered popcorn, with layers and layers of butter.
5. What is the last thing you fixed? Something with the diving equipment when I was on vacation in Florida recently.
6. What’s a food you can’t live without? Red wine.
7. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge. Completely changed my life.
8. What’s the best compliment you ever got? My friend Tommy said, “You’re a man after God’s heart.” It was humbling.

Minnesota Roots

Ken grew up in a small town in Northern Minnesota, where he learned at a young age the rewards of hard work during hours spent on the family farm. After college, Ken moved to the big city – Minneapolis, where he’d build a thriving recruiting business with a partner. Eventually, though, Ken felt pulled to set off on a new adventure with a new landscape.

As is often he case when we feel ready for a change, the path unfolded and obstacles mysteriously were eliminated, one by one. Ken shares with me that it’s only in hindsight that he can recognize the courage the move required. At the time, he says, he really didn’t even think about it. He just knew he was tired of the bitter cold and suddenly realized he had a choice in the matter.

Ken made a plan and a list. He decided he’d spend 4-5 weeks at a time living in and exploring the cities on his list and by the end of it, he hoped one would feel like home and he’d begin building a life there.

Redefining Home

First stop, not so much because he considered it a contender, but because he had pals there, was Florida. He admits most of the time was spent enjoying late nights on the town with his friends and eventually, he was worn out by it. Time to move along.

Next up: Austin, Texas. In Ken’s national recruiting business he’d heard great things about Austin from various candidates over the years. Also, Ken  tells me that as a farm boy, there was something about the idea of Texas that felt familiar. Ken recalls his second day in Austin, driving around the outskirts of town, nowhere near all the famously beautiful parts of the city, or as Ken says, “Not exactly the place the Chamber of Commerce sends folks,” when a feeling came over him and he thought, “This is it. I’m home.”

Ken began making friends, and after many years away from church, he began attending one at the invitation of his Realtor and new friend. Ken was surprised that when the service was over, he immediately began to look forward to the following week so he could go again.

When a few weeks had gone by, and it was time to move along and finish checking of the cities on his list – Phoenix, San Diego, Northern California and Denver – he wasn’t at all interested in leaving. He really was home.

Austin’s Aura

Ken and I talked a little about the magic of Austin. It’s no accident that 170 people are moving here every single day, and very few are leaving. Grab anyone on the street in Austin and they will have an opinion about why that is. They will also have an opinion about whether it’s good or bad. And whatever you do, I suggest you don’t get on the topic of traffic — because they definitely have an opinion about that.

Ken and I share our ideas of why we think people are so in love with this great city and learn our opinions aren’t too far off from one another, but Ken’s is far more articulate than mine. He says, “People talk about the weather, and sure, Austin has great weather. But for me, it’s the people. There’s an aura to this city; the people are content with who they are. I believe that most of the anxiety we experience in life is because we are out of alignment with who we are. The more we judge ourselves, the more we judge others. Conversely, the more we accept ourselves, the more we accept others. For the most part, this city is full of people who are content with who they are. And the city attracts people who are of that ilk. They are accepting or they are in the midst of a transformation to acceptance.”

A Life’s Work

Ken continued the work he’d been doing in Minneapolis – recruiting high-level sales people, mostly in the Northwest, the Bay Area and Chicago.  While Ken really enjoys what he does, he has a passion project that is pretty wonderful, called DigYourWork.

Being the recruiting industry, Ken was often getting requests to help friends of friends who were in the midst of a job search. He was happy to help them with résumé  reviews or interview preparation. But as time went on, Ken discovered that many people were knocking themselves out for a job they didn’t really want.

Ken says that in his experience, when you ask someone what they want, 90% of the time, they don’t really know. There is a lot of shame and guilt because of that. People say, “I’m 40 years old and I should know what I want.” Ken tells me from there, he asks questions, and fishes until he sees a twinkle in the eye. From that point, he helps them with a plan to explore this new idea and gets them on their way. He summarizes it nicely — “I’m the catalyst to get people going where they want to go.”

Ken says people get very hung up on the “how” part of making a change. To that, Ken says,”The ‘how’ isn’t up to you. You just need to figure out the ‘what’.

It’s hard. Ken knows that. Intimately. At one point he felt so strongly about DigYourWork, he wanted to figure out a way to make enough money doing it to replace his recruiting work. Around the same time, he took an 11-day trip with The Miracle Foundation to work with orphans in India and Ken said during the trip he kept getting the message, “Stop worrying about the how.” The same thing he’d been telling people for years. Funny how it’s hard to take our own advice sometimes, isn’t it?

Ken shares that a few years ago, he shelved the project. He stills helps people who come to him and he still speaks when he asked to do so. In fact, his philosophy about it is to say ‘yes’ to whatever comes up. And he remains open to the possibilities.

Shift

Our conversation frequently shifts to the topic of intention. We both agree about this importance of living an intentional life. Ken reminds me that we’re constantly making choices. And when we find ourselves saying we aren’t happy or we want more or we want to grow or change, we have a choice. There’s always a choice. Even if that choice is to do nothing — it’s still a choice. Ken believes that most of our unhappiness stems from a disconnect here and says, “Our choices are not in alignment with what is important to us, and we’re unhappy.”

Intention Isn’t Enough

A love of uplifting quotes is something else Ken and I have in common. He reminds me of a terrific book, one of his favorites: The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews. At one point, the author writes that people often say they are waiting on God, to which he says he thinks God is waiting on them. Intention is great, but it’s not a solo act.

Intentional Action

Referencing another Andy Andrews book, The Noticer, Ken talks about a quote on the topic:

“Despite popular belief to the contrary, there is absolutely no power in intention. The seagull may intend to fly away, may decide to do so, may talk with the other seagulls about how wonderful it is to fly, but until the seagull flaps his wings and takes to the air, he is still on the dock. There’s no difference between that gull and all the others. Likewise, there is no difference in the person who intends to do things differently and the one who never thinks about it in the first place. Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions? Yet intention without action is an insult to those who expect the best from you.”

Making Change

Ken shares an observation he’s made from years of leading workshops and seminars from the people who take classes, read books, attend seminars and want to know, “Why are things not changing?

Ken says, “I believe it’s because most of us spend our waking hours collecting information to support our current belief system. Whether it’s about ‘those people,’ a family member, our boss, ourselves, those Democrats or Republicans. And the problem is, that’s a mindset and we bring that with us to the workshops or to the book we’re reading and we look for the things we already agree with. We highlight them. The things that counter our belief system – we skip over, or if we’re in a training, we tune out or take a look at our phone or check email. We leave with the same information that we entered with.”

Ken shares an exercise he asks people to consider when taking a class or reading a book. He says,”Look for the things that you disagree with or challenge you and make note of them. Then, before you go to bed, read it over and ask this question: “What part of this MIGHT be true?”

Ken adds, “We don’t go there because we’re uncomfortable. We see the world the same we did 10 years ago.”

Which is a shame, because we took the class or picked up the book looking to make a change. But in the end, we didn’t grow, we just reinforced.

Ken summarizes his point nicely with a quote from Muhammad Ali:

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

Surrender

I ask Ken about the most significant thing that’s happened to him in the last 30 days. He says, “Business has been down a little. It’s fine. In this business, there are cycles. During this slow period, I’ve been intentional about spending time with the Trinity. I am more connected with Them than I’ve ever been. I’m spending time, talking with Them more. I didn’t intend for it to happen, but it’s been a spiritual signpost. It’s been a lot of questions about figuring things out. And the answer has been, “Trust me — let me show you.” So I’m working on letting it flow. The most proactive thing I can do is ‘listen and respond’. It’s not a revelation, but I’m surrendering and falling into it.”

I want to know, if Ken had a year to get good at something, what would he try? He says, “Three things come to mind. 1. Speaking Spanish. 2. Learning to swim. I’m taking lessons right now. 3. Something that’s really wacky. I’m really into boot camps and running. I live next to Core Power Yoga and I took a yoga class for the first time two years ago and my body said, ‘Thank you!’ There’s a heated power yoga sculpt class that I love and several instructors have remarked about my energy and one even said, ‘I wish you were in all my classes.’ The other day, I filled out the form to get info about taking the instructor training.”

What is a ritual, a habit or a practice that Ken does daily that he says is the biggest factor to his overall success and happiness? Ken tells me it’s his quiet time. He says, “It’s a combination of prayer, gratitude and talking to God. I smile, laugh, joke and then ask — ‘What would you like me to do with today?’ I don’t always do it daily, but I do it 5-6 days a week. When I miss it, my day is different. And how I interact with people is different.”

If Ken had 30 seconds to make a speech to the world, this is his message:

“Hit the pause button. Pull off to the side of the road. Take the time to listen to what your heart and soul are trying to tell you. There’s something that’s going on inside you. Figure out how to tap into that, and just listen to it. Then get the support around you to move in the direction of what you’re hearing.”

It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to make things happen. I find myself guilty of that constantly. In fact, one of my stress relief mechanisms when I feel overwhelmed it to look at my goals, break them down into chunks and make a to-do list. In many ways, the ideas Ken shared are difficult for me to consider implementing, despite the fact that I recognize the truth. Though I often find it hard to define my religious beliefs, it’s hard to argue there’s a greater power and a higher wisdom than the jumbled thoughts bouncing around in my own head. And yet I find the letting go the hardest part. I cling. I work harder. I go deeper inside. And eventually, I beat myself up when the outcomes aren’t precisely as I hoped they’d be.

Ken has given me so much to think about. Say yes to the things that feel good. Grow and resist simply reinforcing what we already know. Open to the possibility of a new truth. Start with intention, follow with action and trust that sometimes, the best action is to get quiet, to open your mind, you ears and your heart and wait for the answer to arrive. Open. Allow. Trust. Then surrender.