The Place: Summermoon Wood Fired Coffee

The Cup: Latte, for Jodi, Cortado for moi.

Background: The ever sensational Cup 16, Terry Grier introduced Jodi and I at his holiday bash (which was over the top FABULOUS, I have to say!). He grabbed me, walked me in front of Jodi and said, “Melissa, this is Jodi.  You should interview her for your blog.” And then he was gone. Jodi, knowing a bit about the project and understanding the whole “stranger” thing that I try to maintain, said, “Well, nice to meet you. Or not meet you.”  After a few silly exchanges, we agreed coffee was a must and decided to save all the get to know ya stuff for said meeting. Which brings us to Summermoon, in South Austin where we finally sat down and officially got to know each other.

Life experience has taught me that there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who make the most out of the crap that comes their way and those who sit around in it, complaining about how bad it smells. You know I’m right. No one gets out of here without some undesirable events thrust upon them. We end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, have bad luck, meet the wrong people and from time to time, we make a mistake or two. I strive (and mostly fail) to be a lemonade maker, but some people are total rock stars at seeing the best in any situation. Jodi is one of those people and it certainly isn’t because nothing bad ever happened to her.

Jodi was born and raised in East Texas but moved to California after getting married.  She got pregnant soon after arriving in California and during a time that should have been full of exciting anticipation, her husband had a stroke and their lives were forever altered. At the tender age of 22, Jodi was living 2000 miles from the only home she’d even known with a new baby and a sick husband. They moved back to Texas, and for the next several years her husband battled health issues until he passed away when Jodi’s son was just seven.  During this same time, Jodi’s mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and in 2005, after a seven year fight, Jodi lost her mom to the disease.

Watching her mom go through her illness, particularly at the end when things were at their very worst, instilled in Jodi a desire to find a way to if not prevent, then at least lessen the chances that her son would have to endure watching her go through the same. She had read about a blood test that could show a person’s chances of developing hereditary cancers – such as breast and ovarian. She asked her doctor for the test and was surprised when her request was met with total disregard. In fact, she was made to feel like her concerns were unwarranted and because she was young and healthy, she should not worry about cancer.

Jodi didn’t give up. She continued to do research into hereditary cancer prevention and three years ago, when an allergy attack caused her to see a new doctor, her opportunity presented itself. On the wall of the office was a poster for the test she’d been asking for. BRAC Analysis is the test and when she asked for it this time, she got the answer she’d been seeking.  Sure. You have a family history of hereditary cancer, we can test you – no problem.  Finally, she was given the chance to find out the truth about her cancer risk.

When I put myself in Jodi’s shoes and consider that choice, I’m not sure I would have been as eager. After watching a disease painfully take your mom, way too young, I can’t say with total certainty that I would have wanted to know my odds. I know that’s a very head in the sand sort of position to take, but I’m just being real. Real, and as it turns out, uninformed. Because the knowing part isn’t the end. Once you know, there are measures you can take to prevent the cancer from ever getting a chance.

Unfortunately, that’s the road Jodi had to take. Her results came back that she had roughly a 90% chance of developing breast cancer and a 60-65% chance of developing ovarian cancer. Jodi wanted better odds. She didn’t want her son, who’d already lost his dad, to lose her as well.  And she didn’t want to wake up every day wondering if that was the day she’d get sick.

A few days after getting the results, Jodi had her ovaries removed. A few months later, she flew to NYC where she underwent a double mastectomy and painful reconstructive surgery. When I hear the story, I can’t help but feel it is drastic.  Jodi had to deal with the same feeling from people in the medical community and in her own family. But for Jodi, it was a decision that puts her mind at ease and she knows it was the right choice for her. Of the experience, she says, “It was really expensive, really hard, and really worth it.”

Jodi began traveling and telling her story just months after her surgery. She spoke to the general public, to patients and families and she spoke to those in the medical community.  In the three years since she had her surgeries, there has been more discussion fueled in part by a handful of celebrities bringing awareness to hereditary cancer prevention and screening. Christina Applegate was one of the first, who had a double mastectomy after doctors found very early stage breast cancer in one of her breasts. Earlier this year, Sharon Osbourne also had a double mastectomy after learning she had the genetic marker. So while it is dramatic, it isn’t uncommon and certainly not as controversial as it was just a few short years ago.

The surgeries and patient advocacy work are huge in Jodi’s life in terms of her story, but when asked what event has shaped her most as a person, she cites being a mother as the biggest life changer. “It is the most daunting, humbling, challenging, rewarding experience of my life. Everything changes once you become a mother – even things you don’t expect to change. But it’s all for the better.”  Her son is now 20 years old and she’s proud of the man he’s become and enjoys watching him mature. They have been through a lot as a family and through it all, they’ve grown even closer.

I find that most people have a guiding rule they strive to live their lives by and I’m always interested to find out what that rule is. For Jodi, the rule is “Don’t judge other people. Love everyone.” She remarks that her house is known as the “Judgement-free zone.” It’s a place where people are free to be who they are and never have to worry about someone judging them. To take that loving attitude just a step further, every summer Jodi throws a party to celebrate “Loving Day.”  I hadn’t heard of Loving Day, so Jodi filled me in.

In 1958 two people in Virgina, Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving, fell in love and wanted to get married. Unfortunately because Mildred was black and Richard was white, this wasn’t allowed.  They decided to go to DC to get married, because it was legal there, and then headed back to Virginia. But one night, as they slept, the police broke in and arrested them both. The case ended up going to the supreme court and on June 12, 1967, thanks to the Lovings, interracial marriage became legal in every state. In communities everywhere, people celebrate this day and Jodi is one of them. I was so excited to hear the story and feel moved to celebrate the day also. If you want to learn more, check out the Loving Day website.

Speaking of loving, Jodi was remarried in 2007 and tells me she is grateful for second chances. She feels the BRAC Analysis gave her a second chance at life and she sees her new marriage as a second chance at love. Jodi shared a lesson she learned recently. “I can make more money, but I can’t get time back. So I don’t waste it.” she tells me. In addition to her strong relationship with her son and her husband, they also have several very strong circles of friends that contribute to the overall happiness in Jodi’s life.  In fact, Jodi celebrated her 43rd birthday a few weeks ago and for the occasion, her best friend flew into town from New York, she had dinner out with her son and his girlfriend, her husband took her out one night and then she had dinner out with multiple other friends.  Her birthday turned into a week-long celebration. When I remark that it wasn’t even a “big year” – like 40, for example she is quick to remind me, “Every year is a big year.” Of course, she’s right.

One of Jodi’s favorite books and one she re-reads over and over is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. She loves the book because it reminds us to think like a child. She tells me that she has a sign in her hallway that reads, “Don’t grow up, its a trap.”  We have a little chuckle at this, then Jodi says, “Kids don’t wake up thinking about what sucks. They wake up excited and say, “Let’s play!'” She makes a really good point.

I’m reminded of a sentiment someone once shared with me about how we go to bed thinking that we didn’t accomplish enough and wake up thinking we didn’t sleep enough.  All through the day we have bountiful opportunities for other “not enoughs”. Not thin enough, not fast enough, not wealthy enough, house isn’t big enough, kids aren’t smart enough and on and on we go.

Jodi is a reminder that we have a choice. We can look at a situation with anger and frustration and bemoan our predicament, wondering “Why me?” Or we can look around us, with hearts full of gratitude and see the beauty of second chances.

To learn more about Jodi, check her out on LinkedIn.