The Place: Cenote

The Cup: A pour-over coffee for both of us.

Background: Cooper and I met at the 8 Minute Ripple™, the “networking” event hosted by Cup 5, Steve Harper. We didn’t get much of a chance to talk, so I told Cooper about my project and blog and he agreed to be a part of it. I also told him about the interesting “pour over” coffee brewing experience I first learned about from Cup 14, Chris Perez at Cenote and he was fascinated.

Cooper is a fellow Austin newbie, arriving just less than a year ago – Valentine’s Day specifically. When he tells me this, I say, “Aww!” And not intentionally, I don’t think. The sound just comes out of me as an involuntary reaction – much like breathing, putting one foot in front of another when walking, or rolling your eyes when Clay Matthews flips his hair. OK, so the last one might just be me (and every other Minnesota Vikings fan alive), but you get my point. An action that happens without conscious thought.

Valentine’s Day does this to me. You might assume I love the day because it conjures fond memories of romantic dates, special gifts and blissful delight. You’d be wrong. For the most part, historically speaking anyhow, the day itself has been unpleasant and sometimes downright heartbreaking. And yet, I love it.

I can recall countless Valentine’s Day dates that were disappointing. In college, I was once broken up with ON Valentine’s Day. Two years ago, we had to put our beloved 10 year old Shih-Tzu down ON Valentine’s Day. As you can see, I have plenty of justifiable reasons to dislike the day. And still, I get giddy when the red and pink, heart-shaped decor first shows up on the Target shelves. My heart beats faster and I exclaim, “I heart Valentine’s Day!”

Valentine’s Day is appropriate in Cooper’s case, because his move to Austin was about following the heart that mattered most, his own.

Before we get into the deep stuff, let’s cover some…

Common Grounds

1. What is your current three song playlist? 1) Neil Young – Cowgirl in the Sand, 2) David Gray – Flesh and 3) Jackson Browne – Late For the Sky.
2. What is your guilty pleasure? Finding an 80’s song and then slowing it down and playing it on acoustic guitar to see if it can work.  A recent successful example is Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean.
3. How did you make your first buck? Working on grandpa’s farm planting pine trees as he was making the switch from cattle farming to a Conservation Preserve Program.
4. What is your favorite movie? Godfather Part 2
5. Where is your favorite place to eat in Austin? Perla’s. In part because of their terrific oysters but largely because of a gentleman named Chris Allen, who was the waiter the first visit and over the course of many visits has moved his way up into management.
6. What is the last movie you saw? Savages (which Cooper gives a 6/10).
7. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Remote Control on MTV.
8. What is your favorite way to unwind? “There is nothing better than getting to the end of the week, putting on your ‘vacation pants’ and fixing a drink at home.” Umm, yes! My “vacation pants” are called “yoga pants”, and not because they ever see a downward facing dog or perform a sun salutation, but because it sounds better than “I’m about to be very unproductive and watch way too much TV pants.”
9. What is the best gift you ever received? A Taylor acoustic guitar from mom in 1995.

Cooper spent the first 35 years of his life in Jackson, Mississippi. He is an only child and grew up with not two, but four loving parents. His mom and dad divorced when he was five and both remarried. Cooper talks about holiday traditions and I am surprised that they involved the whole family. “Everyone gets along.” he tells me. Which I think is so remarkable and I imagine this loving and accepting environment must have had an impact on shaping the man sitting before me.

In high school, he was a member of the Chess Club as well as the Astronomy Club and chess and astronomy remain strong interests for him today. He thinks this is a tidbit about himself that many people who know him might find surprising. He tells me about hosting parties in high school on his family farm that inevitably turned into wandering out past the lights of the farm to do some stargazing. It sounds more innocent than the high school parties I recall, but apparently not. Same party, pretty much, just with a focus toward the sky – as Cooper says, “for those who could still see straight”.

Cooper had a nice life in Jackson, Mississippi. He had a strong network of family and friends and eventually married. Unfortunately, after five years, it was apparent the marriage was not meant to be and they parted, amicably. Having no children, and an attorney-friend, made the split uncomplicated. It was during this period that Cooper found himself at a fork in the road and the path he choose brought us to where we are today.

On the subject, here are Cooper’s Robert Frost-like words: “I had an opportunity to rewrite my future. If I stayed in Jackson, the future would have been written for me. I decided to take the unwritten approach and see what happened. It’s been the most liberating experience of my life.” It reminds me so much of the famous Frost poem, I’ll share it here and see what you think.

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Cooper made the choice to ignore that comfortable, predictable path and opted instead for a path leading into a complete unknown.  How does he feel, almost a year after making the choice? In his words, “I haven’t looked back for one second.” In fact, when I ask him about his greatest achievement in life, to date, it is this decision that he names, without hesitation.

Obviously, Cooper is a man willing to take risks and to take life by its horns, so his answer about items on his “bucket list” doesn’t surprise me. He says, “I’m not really a bucket list kind of guy. I’m so carpe diem minded that I have to find something to celebrate every day.” He tells me one thing he and his girlfriend (who is also from Mississippi) miss most about home is thunderstorms. Since moving to Austin there have been very few rainy days. As we sit, visiting and enjoying our warm coffee, outside the rain is falling softly. Cooper gazes out the window and with a wonderstuck look in his eyes explains that the rain is enough of a reason for he and his girlfriend to make dinner and enjoy a couple of bottles of wine that evening in celebration. He says, “Finding something in every moment worth celebrating is what keeps me motivated and keeps me happy. I live life with my eyes open to the present.”

What is the best piece of advice Cooper ever received? “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” And it came from his grandpa.  Cooper says this advice has stayed with him over the years and has come in handy in countless situations. He finds the lesson applicable in terms of communication, patience and is a valuable reminder when life gets moving too fast. As I look for serenity in my busy life, I can appreciate this wisdom. In this case, I take it to mean when you get in a frenzy and have too much going on all at once, this is a good time to ‘shut up’ that inner dialogue and just be still and listen. Cooper’s grandpa is obviously a wise man.

I’m curious what Cooper would say if given 30 seconds to address the world. His message, which he admits is quite reflective of where his mind is at this moment, is about finding a new path. “I would encourage those who haven’t, to get out of their comfort zones as soon as possible.” He spends some time thinking about this and I can tell he’s struggling to find the words. Eventually he says that he’d try to find a way to explain the benefits from getting uncomfortable. Using the analogy of two newlyweds who just threw an elaborate wedding now encouraging an engaged couple to elope, he suggests that his message may fall on deaf ears. I know what he means. Some lessons we learn are impossible to pass along to another person. You have to experience the truth for yourself to fully appreciate it.

I can tell that Cooper is a different person than the one who landed in Austin last February. His mind, his ideas, his network have all expanded. He has followed his heart down a path with no clear future and there isn’t a moment that he regrets. Still thinking about his 30 seconds to the world, he concludes with this. “Walk away from a written future. Carpe diem!” Amen, brother!

To learn more about Cooper, connect with him on LinkedIn or follow him on Twitter.