This is not a typical “coffee with a stranger” interview, in any way. It is a story that will warm your heart, inspire you to be a better person, and remind you of the fragility of life.

This is the story of a coffee that never was. It’s the story of a bigger than life man, with a heart to match his size. His story is told through four strangers who met me for coffee to share a fragment of what this man meant to them.

Background: A few weeks back, I was set to meet Cup 7, Ruben Cantu, for coffee at Starbucks. I walked in, and standing there talking with Ruben was Cup 17, Thom Singer. Hugs all around, followed by an introduction to a tall, handsome, exquisitely dressed gentleman standing with them.

Ruben: “Melissa, do you know Scott?”

Me: “No. Nice to meet you Scott.”

Thom: “Melissa! Scott needs to be your next stranger!”

Ruben: “Scott, Melissa has this blog where she interviews strangers over coffee.”

Scott: “Oh! I read your blog. I love it!”

Me: “Wow, handsome and he reads my blog. I like this guy!” OK, that last part was just in my head.

Scott ran out to his car to get a business card, and as he gave it to me, he joked that we better not talk much more, or he may not qualify as a stranger any more. We agreed to set up a meeting via email, and he dashed off, while I sat down for a visit with Ruben.

By the time I got back to my desk, Scott had sent an email following up, and after a few emails back and forth, we had our coffee chat set.

In all sincerity, I look forward to meeting with each and every stranger. I’ve been doing this long enough to know that everyone has a story, and I walk away from each interaction having learned something – often many things. Aside from time with my adoring husband, this is the part of my week I look forward to most.

My meeting with Scott was just a little extra exciting. In our short exchange, I knew he was good people. First impressions happen within seconds; sometimes they are wrong, but with Scott, I felt I’d be sitting down with a fellow seeker – a kindred spirit who was looking for connection to others and to things bigger than himself. Someone who went out of his way to connect to those around him on a deep level, because that’s where the magic lived. I knew Scott and I were cut from a similar cloth, and I was eager to hear his story.

As I sat at my computer a couple of Mondays ago, I got a text message from Ruben. He said he wasn’t sure if Scott and I had set a meeting yet, but he needed to let me know that Scott had passed away. I read and reread that text, assuming there was some mistake. Unfortunately, I’d learn that no mistake had been made. At the young age of 41, Scott Robinson had passed on from this life.

All week I had a pit in my stomach thinking about Scott’s death. My heart ached for his family – particularly his 8-year-old twins, his parents and his sister – who I’d later learn had moved to Austin very recently to be closer to Scott and the kids. I was sad for his friends and his countless business associates who’d lost a guy who’d do anything for anyone. And selfishly, I was sad for myself because I never had the chance to hear his story.

Cup 62 was supposed to be Scott Robinson. I decided there was no reason it still couldn’t be, which is how I came to share four cups of coffee with strangers, in order to hear Scott’s story through four men who knew him well, admired him, mentored him, beat him at poker, wore his ties, and most importantly, loved him.

Cup 63 is Paul O’Brien, who spent many hours with Scott discussing the entrepreneur scene in Austin and sharing conversations about our beloved city that some may consider controversial. Is Austin really a city of and for entrepreneurs? Does Austin truly know how to support great start-ups? Why does failure seem like a taboo subject here?

Paul summed up Scott’s approach to business (and perhaps life) in three points.

1. Think differently.
2. Question everything.
3. Accept failure.

It was from Paul that I first learned about Scott’s desire to make a lasting impact on the city he adored.  There are likely countless ways Scott was doing this, but one specific example stemmed from his belief that it was time to address the education issues we face in this country.

Scott was not merely a “problem identifier”; he was a “solver”. So, this year, Scott got involved with organizing Austin’s first ever TEDx Youth event. It was an incredible success, and in an interview with Austin360, Scott was quoted as saying,  “It came together in a way that nobody really expected.” He said, “It says a lot about the youth of Austin. They are open-minded and progressive, and in tune with what their contributions to society can be.”

Paul admitted that he and Scott didn’t spend all their time together in deep discussion – they also played poker together. Several guys got together regularly for a few hands of cards. I just had to know, was Scott any good? “No!” Paul says with a smirk, adding, “The last game we played was one he hosted and he was the first to lose. For Scott, it wasn’t about winning. It was about connecting.

Cup 64 is Andrew Tull. Much like Paul, Andrew and Scott first connected over business. But as Andrew told me, “We went deep fast.”

Andrew opened our talk with these words: “Scott was as complex as they come, and he was as easy as they come. He was a 6’5″ man with heart of a 10′ 10″ man.”

Explaining that he could give me thousands of examples of Scott’s big, generous heart, Andrew chooses a story to share with me that illustrates it nicely. In one of their first conversations, Scott and Andrew were talking about the importance of family – they had in common their intense love for the most important people in their lives. Andrew shared with Scott that his parent’s favorite vacation spot was Dollywood, in Pigeon Forge, TN – telling Scott that often the entire family got together for a Dollywood vacation. It was a place filled with many special memories, and this point was not lost on Scott.

Several months later, while at a SXSW event, Scott pulls Andrew aside and tells him he has something for him. Prone to good times and jokes, Andrew told Scott he wasn’t interested in whatever he was selling. “No, really, I have someone for you to meet,” Scott said. Still not trusting him completely, Andrew kept his guard up as Scott walked him over to a guy and introduced him. “Andrew, this is Ross Ramon.” They shake hands and Ross says to Scott, “Is this the guy?” Now Andrew is really wondering what he’s gotten himself into. And as he’s telling me this story, I’m on the edge of my seat too. Especially considering this story began with Dollywood and I can’t imagine how this all ties together.

Turns out Ross and Scott worked together at the advertising firm, USDM, and Dollywood’s home city, Pigeon Forge was their client!  Ahh, the connection is made! And now for the exciting conclusion! Scott, knowing how much Andrew’s family loves the little slice of Tennessee heaven, had orchestrated, essentially, getting the keys to the city for the whole family. They had the golden ticket to go anywhere and do anything as the special guests of Pigeon Forge.

Andrew was so excited, he grabbed Scott and tried to find a quiet place to call his parents to tell them the exciting news. Once the shock wore off and the news sunk in, they were ecstatic. Just the response Scott was looking for. He was known for finding ways to do extra special things for the people who mattered to him.

I explained to Andrew that in my quest to find people to interview about Scott, I found that everyone in town knew him. Everyone! But very few knew him well. Andrew explained that Scott was everywhere, every time. And if he wasn’t there in person, he was there via social media – Twitter apparently being his favorite channel. Andrew indicated that Scott had an interest in connecting with the people around him every chance he could. But agreed that he seemed to reserve that deeper knowing for a select handful.

“A deep thinker who asked big questions,” Andrew adds to the description of Scott. And this description is echoed by Cup 65, Mike Millard, who spent so much time having these big discussions with Scott that the talks got their own name – Fireside Chats.

The pair first got to know each other when they worked on developing a product called Trivia Darts – a creation that married two fun bar activities into one offering. The idea ended up not working out, but what did work out was their friendship.

I’m curious about these “Fireside Chats” and dig deeper, to find out they covered topics such as God, death, and being better fathers and men. They tackled big questions like, “Why are we here? What’s the meaning of it all? What do we want to be known for?”

For Scott, that answer came fairly recently, when he decided he wanted to be knows for three things.

1. Being a man of faith.
2. Being a good father.
3. Being a champion of entrepreneurs.

Mike shared a story of how he ended up with a box of Scott’s ties. Mike had taken a new job, and the dress code was a notch or so above most of Austin, and he now needed to wear a tie. Only problem, he didn’t own one. He’d gotten rid his ties years ago. Scott saw this a chance to help his friend out, and soon he delivered to Mike a box of carefully folded, exquisite ties – each likely costing more than many men’s entire tie collection. My husband’s for sure!

Scott did not merely hand over the box and hit the road. No. He sat Mike down. One by one, he pulled the ties out of the box, held them up to show their beauty, and then proceeded to tell each one’s story. They all had a story. A brand, where Scott had gotten it, maybe even where he’d worn it. After telling the tale of the tie, it was carefully refolded and gently placed back into the box.

Mike tells me, “Scott was a live-in-the-moment kind of guy.” He goes on to share a recent story. The two had gotten together with the kids, and were visiting as they watched their children playing together. As they watched, they shared a moment of pride in their children and in themselves as fathers. Scott says to Mike, “Nothing gives me more joy than watching our kids play together.” A game of chase was happening in a rather big way, and the kids ran round and round trying to catch/avoid one another. Suddenly they all erupted into laughter. They laughed so hard that they all fell to the ground and carried on laughing even more.

“That’s it!” Scott exclaimed. “That’s it! Those kids are living in the moment. That’s what it’s all about.”

Mike tells me from that moment on, Scott took this new knowledge seriously and immediately became focused on a three pronged mantra – listen, interact and be there – in every moment with every person. Mike then asked me, “I know you only met him for a few minutes, but did you notice it?” Yes. I most certainly did. It’s that quality that’s hard to describe – but at its simplest is an instant connection. Like, when you first meet someone and immediately decide you must have met before, because they feel like an old friend. Scott had that gift. He listened, interacted and he was present. Gifts we typically reserve for loved ones – Scott realized was a gift appropriate for everyone. And perhaps the biggest secret was that in giving the gifts, the giver receives as much as the gifted.

Cup 66 is Jim Bledsoe, who surprised me by telling me that his first impression of Scott wasn’t positive. Jim had a meeting set up with a woman named Kay who was an associate of Scott’s. When Jim showed up, he was surprised to see Scott at the meeting as well and immediately was on guard – worried that he was going to get “sold” something. But as Jim tells it, you go from zero to liking Scott in seconds – at which point you’re a fan for life.

Jim describes Scott as “a 6’5″ Energizer Bunny who embraced his faith, loved his family, and cherished his friends.”

The two shared a special bond – very much like that of brothers. Jim agrees, adding, “Scott was like the little brother who you had to let bite into the jalapeño pepper to find out it was hot.” Scott often kidded with Jim that the wife he talked about was perhaps not actually a real person, because for as much as he had heard about the woman, he’d never met her.

This past April, Jim mentioned to Scott that it was his 30th anniversary.  He challenged Jim one last time with, “I don’t believe she exists!” Jim said to him, “OK, big boy, here’s your chance to find out. How would you like to take these dozen roses and deliver them to her at work?”  He goes on to relate, “Scott jumped at the chance! Caused quite a stir, too! With both the single…and the married ladies! No surprise that he charmed everyone in the place. Best flower delivery experience ever!”

The last conversation Jim had with Scott was a bit unorthodox – Scott was calling Jim for fashion advice. They were invited to an awards dinner and Scott wanted to know what he should wear. Jim told me his response was, “Dude, you are the Dos Equis commercial! The one that starts, ‘even his shadow makes Best Dressed lists’! What on earth are you asking me for?”

This is one point about Scott that everyone mentioned, and yet needed no mentioning. Scott was a well-dressed man. The day I met him he was sporting designer jeans, loafers, and a crisp, starched shirt under a stylish sport coat. Scott took pride in his appearance and people noticed. In a city of CEOs sporting flip-flops, where shorts are the new dress pants, you couldn’t help but notice. Scott had style and class. And he even had a signature piece – the pocket square.

The pocket square was such a “Scott” item, that a few friends decided they’d make a few and pass them out at his memorial service. The men tucked a little of Scott into their pockets, and the ladies got to pin him onto their blouses or dresses. It was a touching memento for those who were missing their friend.

All four men shared with me the love Scott had for his children. They meant the world to him. They were a constant source of light in Scott’s life, and through thick and thin, they were a reason for him to continue to strive to be better. Mike told me Scott was on a quest to continually improve himself. He worked at being a better servant of God and a better person. Scott focused on being in the moment, living a big life.

I asked Paul what Scott would say to him right now. “Go do it!” Paul said and added, “Scott focused on ‘getting it done’ versus “getting it started.’ He’d say, ‘Go do it and don’t stop!'”

What did Austin lose? According to Paul, a little of the heart and soul that we are in constant search of. “Scott was heart and soul. It’s not like we’re filling a job. We need something so much greater. We lost a best friend. He wasn’t just someone you knew, someone you played cards with, drank with or talked about the future of start-ups with. In a short amount of time, he became someone I knew better than most people, better than I knew some of my best friends. It feels like a bit of your heart has been ripped out.”

Andrew was emphatic that we must carry on the great work Scott began. Scott’s life must be celebrated and his memory honored by charging ahead with projects like TEDx Youth and Start-Up America. When I asked Andrew about Scott’s legacy he said, “Scott was about big, cool projects that better the lives of the people in Austin. Whether it’s transportation, entrepreneurship, start-up funding, or just helping folks with a simple gesture of kindness.”

What will Andrew miss the most? He says, “I lost a brother. He’d listen, he’d laugh – we could talk about anything.” I told Andrew about a recent coffee I had, where I was challenged to think of someone, not a family member, who I could call at 2am if I needed something. I told him I had a hard time thinking of someone and said, “It sounds like Scott was your 2am guy.” Andrew said, “Scott was absolutely my 2am guy. I miss my friend a whole lot!”

Final words – what were they and what do they mean? When we lose someone we love, we look back at those last conversations and replay them over and over again in our minds. For as big and manly as Scott was, he was quite emotional and willing to show that emotion to those closest to him. His last words with Jim were, “Love you.” Andrew and his wife were the last friends to be with Scott before he died. After their time out, Scott agreed to text when he got home – which he did. His text said, “Aqui (Spanish for “here”), Great times. Thanks for the invite. See you soon man.” Andrew responded that yes, he’d see him soon and “love you”.

Scott was a big man, with a big heart, with a story that’s far too big for me to possibly tell. He was a man of strong convictions, who walked with God and lived by faith. He was a father who delighted in the joy his children brought to his life, and who was determined to make this world a better place, for them and everyone else. He loved his family, and felt blessed to finally have them all in the same city. His friends were countless, but his ‘brothers’ were few. He was blessed to be adored by so many people, and he will be missed by all, even those who barely knew him.

Scott’s life had a big impact. He cared for people – illustrated, in a way, by how he cared for his ties. They are not to be worn and then shoved into a drawer or thrown into the back of a closet. Each one has a story and it deserves to be told. You must be gentle and offer the proper care. When you do, you’ll have them for life.

Just before we wrapped up our coffee, Jim shared with me a poem that he hadn’t had a chance to share in the eulogy, but one he thought was fitting. Here it is.

Success

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Scott wished to be known for three things – as a champion of entrepreneurs, a good father and a man of faith. Scott is proof that a life does not need to be long to have been a success.

A poet once said, “Every man dies. But not every man really lives.”

Scott lived.

In his honor, “Go do it!” Only you know what your “it” is. Go! Now! Get it done! Failure’s OK. Doing nothing is not. Live every moment, make the most of every interaction, love everyone with your whole heart and give freely. Figure out what you want to be known for, and then live every single moment you have left making it so.

Scott Robinson – you are loved, you are missed, but you are not gone.

A James Scott Robinson Memorial Fund located at Wells Fargo bank is available for donations to benefit Scott’s children, Joshua & Sophie Robinson.